Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Carrie wears sequins

The above cartoon ("Insects in the City: The final chapter") reads as follows:

Carrie purchases 80 pairs of heels and is squished while hailing a taxi.
While visiting Central Park, man-eating Samantha has the tables turned.
Charlotte meets her destiny near a Soho brownstone and suffocates.
Miranda checks into a motel in Tribeca and never checks out.

While working for a local newspaper several years ago, I became good friends with Carla, a brilliant freelance writer and fashionista who also happens to own every season of HBO's Sex and the City.

Shocked to hear that I'd never watched even a single episode of the hit series, she offered to loan me her DVDs so that I, too, could be among the world's most fashion-forward women.

While my wardrobe can still be considered mundane at best, Carla can at least declare that she successfully turned me and my husband into bonefide Sex and the City fanatics. (Yes, I forced him to watch with me at first, but now he'll voluntarily tune into its old reruns airing on the Cosmo channel.)

Like all good Sex and the City fans, I immediately began analyzing my own circle of female friends, trying to decipher who fit the mould of each of the show's main characters. And while I don't really know anyone who is exactly like each of the ladies on that show, one thing is for certain: Carla is my Carrie.

Those of us lucky enough to know her realize that she's warm, thoughtful, intelligent, and funny..... not to mention that she certainly has a fashion sense that would put Carrie Bradshaw herself to shame.

As mentioned in a previous entry, Carla recently relocated back to Ontario, which has left a noticeable void in my life.

With whom will I volunteer at the next summer marathon? Or stand in line with to catch the latest  "it" movie? Moreover, I'll probably never again get to pull over to respond to one of Carla's text messages, wondering where I am and why I'm late.

Unless, of course, she and Darcy decide to move back some time in the near future. That would be -- wait for it -- fabulous! 

(FYI - It turns out I'm most like the character of Miranda on Sex and the City. It's true. I took a quiz on the subject, and those quizzes are always accurate.)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Mummy Tummy (and other soft areas that no one needs to see)

"Jenny Craig be damned; I may breastfeed for life!"
- Carol (Dinah Manoff), Empty Nest

You know when you hear a line on TV or film that, for whatever reason, sticks with you forever? That can be said for me with the above phrase from the 1993-1994 season of Empty Nest.

The punchline of that segment was that Carol was burning so many calories while breastfeeding that she'd never have to diet again.

All these years I naively believed this to be true.

Fast forward 17 years, and here I am doing my best to feed Marina naturally and with the hopes of losing some of this baby weight as well -- but I have to tell you, the latter just isn't happening.

No word of a lie, the only weight I've lost is the actual weight of the baby plus some associated fluids.

The rest of the weight I gained has remained firmly implanted on my abdomen. And thighs, arms, butt, calves, and chest. And, oh yeah, you can see it in my face, too.

I've been this heavy before, but I worked my butt off, literally, to get down to a healthier size for my stature. That was seven years ago. I now find myself older and busier than ever, and the thought of having to lose all this weight for a second time just feels so daunting and overwhelming.

Where to start? I know it will be significantly more difficult to lose the weight this time around, but something needs to be done.

Do I join the Running Room again? Go to aquasize classes with Danielle? Bite the bullet and just get a gym membership again?

Or maybe I should just do all three?

My concern is that, with a newborn baby whose schedule is still erratic at best, my time is no longer my own, and it's difficult to set aside a specific time for myself each day.

I know it can be and has been done by other moms, though...... and so my question is this: How???

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Belated MLB predictions

I realize this post is three months overdue, but I made a prediction as to who will be this year's World Series Champion in baseball, and I'm only now getting around to blogging about it.

My pick for this year is -- wait for it -- the Boston Red Sox.

Now before you start calling me crazy and demanding to know from where I'm getting my information, allow me to make something clear: This prediction is based on neither science nor statistics, but, rather, on a hunch that I had earlier this year.

That's right. I said it. A hunch.

I have a little bit of a history when it comes to these hunches, dating back to October 2004 while I was in Ft. Drum, New York.

It was the middle of the Yankees/Red Sox series, and Boston was down by three games with NY looking to be a sure bet to advance.  
My then-beau and I were arguing about something, and since he was rooting for the Yankees in that series, I had to be spiteful and say something to the effect of, "Well, the Yankees are going to choke, you know, and Boston's going to go on to win the World Series."
He looked at me with that "you're just a naive little Canadian girl -- what do you know about baseball" look.

But instead of saying that to my face, what he actually said was: "If Boston wins the World Series.... then I'll marry you."
Ahem. The fool.

Don't you men know that you can't just throw out statements like that and not expect them to come back to haunt you for life??? I guess that learned him, as he is now Mr. Wildrose Jo.
So anyway, yeah, I wrinkled my nose a la Samantha on Bewitched and the Red Sox curse was broken.... after they made the biggest comeback in postseason MLB history. I'm awesome.
To top that off, I also predicted last season's NY Yankees win, long before they had advanced to the World Series itself.

So mark my words: Red Sox, 2010 World Series Champions.

Just remember that you heard it here first, folks.*

*Unless, of course, you put some money down on them to win, but then they actually tank it ...In which case I'm not to be held accountable for anyone's misfortunes. That's right. Not accountable!