Monday, May 26, 2008

A comedy of errors... but I ain't laughing

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.
- William Ellery Channing

So in an effort to regain my pre-gluttonous running shape from a month ago, I decided it was time to detox. 

I'm sure that part of my sluggishness these days is due to malnutrition and mild dehydration (read: Pringles aren't the ideal get-me-going-in-the-morning breakfast choice), so it was back to the basics for me today: Fresh fruits, vegetables, and at least two glasses of water every few hours while at work.

Except that life had other plans for me.

It didn't start out all bad, though. The sun was shining again, and I had a fabulously healthy breakfast. And because I don't like the water in the fountains at work, I packed extra bottles of water from home to get me through the day. And that's where the fun began.

While on the bus on my way to work, I was so engrossed in my book (Jo's note: Fifteen Days by Christie Blatchford is a must-read!!), that I failed to immediately notice the expanding, uhh, moistness developing in my lap. 

..... wait for it .....

Yes, one of my water bottles leaked through my bag and onto the most unfortunate of places in my lap. (Geez, to what did you think I was alluding??)

So I hurriedly scampered off the bus at my stop, strategically holding my backpack in front of me, and trying not to make eye contact with anyone as I ducked into the first restroom I could find.

Thankfully, it was vacant, so I emptied the soaking wet contents of my bag onto the counter, and I tactfully placed my lower body (read: hip-ular area) beneath the hot-air dryer.

But the the dryer suddenly stopped after only a few seconds, and I couldn't get it to start again.

Flustered and thinking things couldn't get any worse, I once again strategically placed my now-empty backpack in front of me and gathered my still-soaking wet items in my arms, doing my best not to drop anything while navigating my way through the building in search of another restroom.  

There's one! -- but it's out of order and under construction. Doh.

There's another one -- but it's crowded, and I really don't want an audience right now.

Finally! An empty restroom all to myself and in working order!

... Or was it? Of course not. The dryers wouldn't work in that one either. Honestly, of all the days for the building to blow a fuse....

By the time I gathered my composure enough to see the humour in all of this, my crotch had air-dried on it's own. And although the same could not be said for the wrinkled, ink-stained pages in my daytimer, I still made it to work on time.

But somehow I think this was God's way of punishing me (laughing at me?) for becoming so complacent when it comes to healthy living. 

Either that or it was a sign that Pringles in the morning really are the most ideal choice after all.

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